Michelle's nearly-married (May 7!) best friend Sara has bestowed her cache of Awesomely Terrible Wedding Magazines onto our household. They are sort of toxic and lovely and surreal, but mostly they read like absurd fiction, something published in McSweeney's. For example:
"Be sure your bridesmaids purchase their dresses at the same time, so that the garments are processed in the same dye lot."
"Black is white's most perfect accessory"
And, listed in a collage of fun things to register for: $50 "onion goggles". Which I take to mean, goggles one dons while chopping onions. Also known as..goggles.
I like to idly flip through them on the porch swing after a long run, trance-like. Sometimes Michelle or Ana will catch me in the act, and I'll toss the magazine up in a flutter of pages, like it's become suddenly white-hot. "Brain poison!", I'll cry...and then pick it back up.