Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Being honest

How do you do it, Claire?
I really wanted to be an aloof, unflappable bride. A Claire Huxtable bride. Be unquestionably in control despite the chaos, have poise and a rapier wit, look flawless (Obviously they just put the entire Cosby Show on Netflix Instant..). Have friends glimpse stacks of invitations on my dinner table and remember, oh yeah, she’s planning a wedding, I completely forgot because she is such a cool ass cucumber. She is just chilling in the crisper drawer being refrigerated as hell.

But no, I’m a dyed-in-the-wool spaz and it’s pretty laughable that I’d think this whole engagement would play out in ten months without a single melodramatic editorial from me at a party after too many drinks. I am happy about the way we’re doing things but, you know, I’m worried. I’m afraid that the ceremony will be too hippy-dippy for my family and too traditional for my friends. I’m afraid my worrywart mom won’t enjoy herself. I’m afraid that my friends, who (the saints!) endlessly volunteer their help, will resent me after a long weekend lost to driving shit around, setting shit up, and telling me to have fun. That minimal “decorations” will seem like an oversight instead of unfussy. That my arms will look fat.

I keep thinking of that line from The Life Aquatic, but with weddings. “I hate brides, I never wanted to be one”.


  1. As a former bride, and a friend of brides I will take it upon myself to speak for your wonderful friends. They will not resent it. They will be thrilled to get to share the time with you, help you, and show you their love and support by way of helping.

    As for the other stuff, does it help to know that it's totally normal to stress out about it, and usually unfounded? Even my unflappable self was worried about several things that in the end didn't matter. Sending hugs from a fellow APW bride.

  2. ooooo girl-i give you virtual hugs of commiseration. you're getting so close! and (from over here) you have seemed far less stressed than you are on the inside:)

  3. I think a lot of people have these worries, myself included. I won't tell you not to worry, but I will tell you that I've been there and it came out like gangbusters. Also, if you want help with your ceremony (and this is not a shameless plug!) I just put ours up on my blog Maybe it will help?

  4. @MadeofSun Aw. Thanks

    @Ashley I am so excited for you guys! I want to meet your guy when you guys are back stateside.

    @Zan Your ceremony post helped so much! Going over to comment there now..

  5. I hear you here for sure. But yes, the stress is normal. Give yourself leeway to not be your typical self. For me this didn't mean freaking over my nails, but it meant that I wasn't able to deal with things the way I usually can. HARD.