Monday, November 7, 2011

Box of love

Accompanying text message: Bridesmaid mushrooms!!

It hit me in the gut when I began to fully understand how much energy our friends and family were investing in our wedding. There I was, all Peter Pan thinking I was floating on my own, not seeing the whole red-faced team backstage working the fly rail. I channeled my guilt and anxiety about this into trying to find a really great bridesmaid gift.

The notion was a bit ill-conceived from the beginning - they were doing this all without a second thought, without the expectation of thanks, because that's what you do for your people. It seemed embarrassing to cheapen it all with...stuff. I almost didn't give my parents a gift for this very reason. "You brought me into this world and encouraged me to always be my weirdo self and told me I could for sure be the first woman president and also bankrolled ohhh most of this wedding so HAVE THIS BROOCH."

I had six women to shop for, with tastes ranging from earthy to twee to dramatic. Just as they did not have one-dress bodies, no gift seemed appropriate across the board. Any item of jewelry that would not horrify at least one attendant would have to be so boring that I'd never want to give it in the first place. And if I gave everyone something different, well it would naturally turn out that some of the gifts were just better than others.

So I scrapped the notion of something to be cherished, a token to remember that day. The token they will use to remember our wedding day will be...their minds.

I gave them a 12 pound box of dirt, or more specifically, an edible mushroom growing kit.

Cool ladies of all stripes like growing weird shit, right?


  1. That's the best bridesmaid present I've ever seen.

  2. Note: Bridesmaid Mushrooms are also DELICIOUS. Also, some of the biggest mushrooms I have ever seen.