Since I have a compulsion to share (see: having a blog), I expected to blog the hell out of our wedding. I've been surprised by a palpable aversion to saying much about it, like I'll undo the warmth of the day with my stupid words. And at once I feel like it's not such a big deal, but also that it's the biggest deal and should only belong to people who were in that biergarten that day.
It might have been selfish to ask my talented friends to help us out in the role of vendors. I knew they wouldn't accept payment and I worried it would affect their enjoyment of the day. I remembered an episode of Ace of Cakes when Duff laments that he is always so busy frantically trying to get the cake perfect for his friends' wedding receptions that he never gets to watch them get married. For us, though, we couldn't see doing it another way. We hoped they would find it in their hearts to forgive us. (Open bar.) You might not guess it from how baroque my writing can be, but I hate to explain things. I stammer a few fragmented sentences and then, exhausted, just end up wishing you could be with me inside my own head. That a fully-formed idea could be uploaded to others as a file. (I know, I'm awful.)
That's what's great about so-called "friendors". I said precious little to Michelle about how I wanted the flowers to look. I think I e-mailed her two photos ever and she was stuck trying desperately to siphon any ghost of guidance out of me. First of all, I defer to her authority on flowers. The hell do I know? Second, I knew they'd be 'me' because she knows me so well! And I adored them - bright, wild, not too arranged.
Longtime friends of ours, brothers Matt and John agreed to play our ceremony music. While the processional song was very intentionally chosen, we gave half a thought to the recessional. It came on Pandora while we were making dinner one night and Nick threw it out as an option - "Caravan" by Van Morrison. It's not the best song on Moondance, and I'm not even some Van Morrison superfan! I thought it was all about the processional song and that the final song was filler but now it's "Caravan" that's friggin' SORCERY when I hear it.And of course it was Ana who made the whole thing official with statuesque poise and authority so if this whole marriage goes to pot, I will hold her personally responsible.