Monday, May 7, 2012

Light years

A few weeks into my new gig and I was back to those gnarly old sleep troubles again. I sprang for one of those light therapy alarm clocks, just like I had threatened to do a few months back. When the package arrived on our doorstep I very grandly declared it to be either the secret to a richness of life I had never previously known or a colossal waste of dough. You know, it's neither. About an hour before I drop-dead have to be out of bed, the smooth cone of plastic begins to glow amber and Renee Montagne starts whispering in my ear about the European debt crisis. Ah, the dulcet tones of austerity policies.  Someone pointed out to me that I could have bought a $10 clock radio and put my regular old bedside lamp on a Christmas tree timer, which made me feel a touch foolhardy. Oops. Still, whether I too readily parted with fifty bucks, my mornings are drastically better! I can't ever see myself bounding out of bed the way I jealously presume loads of other high-functioning adults can do, but this is a start.

This week, I'll be 26, which has been my favorite number since I was very little. I never imagined myself being 26 or even close, though. I know that 26 is quite young (that's how old Nick was when we started dating after all...) but I still feel like at heart like a ten-year-old kid, amassing and sorting (and let's be honest, naming) my rock collection and rapid-fire consuming chapter books which I can only categorize as "young adult wilderness fiction".

At the same time, the decidedly adult trappings of my life don't spook me. Or make me feel lame. They just don't. Saving for retirement, being partnered, keeping a budget, having an office job. For me, the stability and security those things can provide have enabled me to seek out the adventure I dreamed of as a kid reading My Side of the Mountain with a flashlight under the covers.

6 comments:

  1. I feel that way about 32. I can't wait for 32.

    Glad that the lamp is working out!

    I whole-heartedly agree. I don't feel old. I just feel able to do all of those crazy things I always wanted to. I'm like an undercover spy--people think I'm adult and professional, but I'm really marking time until I can traipse off with a book or trek internationally.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Happy early birthday! I keep forgetting you are "only" going to be 26... ;) In my mind, all the people I hang out with as friends are my same age (even when they're 45).

    I loved My Side of the Mountain. Loved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I used be deeply ashamed of having been born in 1986, thinking it far too recent for me to be taken seriously by anyone. Which was too bad really. You can't help how old or young you are.

      I try not to perpetuate this by falling over dead when I learn that a fully-formed person with thoughts and ideas of his/her own was born IN THE 90s but it's difficult.

      Delete
  3. Isn't that a funny realization that you're now the same age that your significant other was when you met them? (Coincidentally, I'm 26 1/2 which is the age Forrest was when he met me when I was just a babe, freshly 23.)

    I also just suck at getting out of bed. Forrest has changed my schedule enough (and me his) that we'll both sleep until about 6:30 or 7. But the 6am I SHOULD get up before work? It just DOESN'T work for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beth - also my parents' 30th anniversary was last week and I realized that when my mom got married in 1982 she was 3 years older than I was when I got married in 2011. Crazy! I always assumed I'd get married when I was 30, having spent my 20s as an intrepid explorer of all 7 continents and finally agreeing to settle down in a huge loft in Brooklyn paid for with my fat intrepid explorer salary (ha.) When my mom was my age she was all runnin' marathons, makin' macrame plant holders, growin' herbs, having her own apartment in Cincinnati like a boss.

      Delete
    2. Ah! I love that you two are the same age as me! I just like it and am even more smitten with.

      My birthday is in two weeks and part of me thinks 26 seems so much older than 25 but mostly I'm damn proud of the adult I made (that sounds weird but you know what I mean). I like the trappings of adulthood and I think I'm a pretty rad partner, friend, daughter and employee.

      Delete